Ramblings

I am writing this post with a lot of emotion today.  I have been very, very, very frustrated the last couple of weeks.  I still have not started my period. I stopped all medications almost 3 weeks ago and still no period!  I am scheduled for my first ultrasound Friday and I am very frustrated because I feel like the trip to KC will be for nothing, again.  I have already made 2 trips for the cancelled cycle and now I am making another one.  I really want this to happen and I feel like we have been waiting for so long already. 

I am also very frustrated with myself.  I am jealous.  There I said it.  I love reading other surrogacy/embryo adoption blogs and there is one that transferred this month (the day after our transfer was supposed to be) and now they are pregnant.  I am soooo happy for them because it has been a long journey for them as well, but I am also jealous.  I can't help it. 

I want to do this for Bro and SIL, but there are so many other things going on with my family right now that all of these 3 hour trips to KC are really starting to take their toll.  We are in the process of trying to sell our house and looking for another one at the same time and if we can't find one we will probably build, which is a huge undertaking.  I guess I will just have to try and stay positive :)

I am done rambling for today.  Thanks for listening, if there is anyone actually listening...