Baby steps

I went to my OB on Tuesday and had my wonderful yearly exam along with some testing and a blood draw.  Seriously, I thought they were going to drain every ounce of blood I have!!  This is probably TMI but I also have to do a 3 day stool test.  What???  I can't understand what they need to see that for, but I will persevere :)  I also go in today for my saline sono and then my preliminary testing will be finished.....I think.  

I received an email from SIL yesterday and they are scheduling their home study visit for next week so hopefully the report won't take too long and we can get this show on the road! 

After the home study report is done they will have the embryos shipped to the clinic in KC and I will begin the protocol to get ready for transfer.  I really hope we can get this done by February.  Hubby and I are taking the kids to Seattle to see Bro and SIL in July and that it would put me at 5 months and it would be the perfect time for a 3d ultrasound so they could see the baby(ies).  I know I am getting ahead of myself, but I am thinking good thoughts!

I am off to have my sono, where I am sure they will tell me my uterus is quite beautiful! 


Julie :)

Finally matched...again!

Well I have been neglecting my blog because the original match fell through.  Their were donor eggs involved and the donor could not be found so they had to go through the whole matching process again and this time it took forever!  But I am happy to report:

Bro & SIL have been matched with new embryos! 

We are all very excited to finally get started.  I had been so impatient waiting for the new match, and then I was a little caught off guard by it.  I had finally just put it aside and thought nothing would happen til after Christmas, but last Monday morning I received an email form the nurse at the RE's office saying they needed me to get some testing done.

So I am now on bcp and am scheduled for a saline sono and some blood work in the next couple weeks.  Bro & SIL have to update their homestudy now that they have moved to Seattle and they should get that done the first part of January and we are crossing our fingers for a February transfer!  I am super excited and can't wait to be preggo again :)

A Match!!

Bro called me yesterday and told me they have been matched!!  There are 5 embyos and the doc and embyologist looked over the embryos and said they are good quality so they accepted!!  He said that there is still quite a bit of paperwork and legal stuff to do, but we should be ready for a transfer sometime in September.  If all gets done in time for my cycle that would put my transfer on September 7th which is a long shot, but October 5th is more likely.  I will try and keep you posted as I know things.

BTW, we told our parents over the 4th of July weekend and they are both really excited.  They are just flabbergasted that we are doing this because when we were growing up they were worried I might actually injure Bro sometimes.  We did not get along at all!! Til next time...

He said yes

Monte talked to his boss yesterday about our plan for this surrogacy and asked him what he thought about using our company insurance plan to pay for it.  First of all, he was shocked at what we were planning.  He said it was almost like organ donation. (I really don't think it is that big of a sacrifice!)  He then told Monte that he had no problem trying to get our company insurance to pay for the maternity benefits.  He thought it was a wonderful thing we are doing and was happy to be part of it. 

I am soooo glad that he is on board with it.  Monte was very uneasy about using his insurance because he didn't want to take advantage or "dupe" his boss, who has always been wonderful to him!  This has lifted a huge weight off of Monte because this was his only concern. 

I called and talked to C (SIL) and she was super excited, also.  We talked for quite a while and we both are just in awe of how this whole plan has just "fallen" together. We both think it is definitely a "God" thing.  Because they have tried so many other avenues in the past including trying on their own, fertility treatments for her, and domestic adoption and nothing has ever been as smooth and "easy" as this has been. 

She is still waiting on the Surrogate Report and the Home Study from the social worker and she will email them to me so I can look over them, too.  So until I know anything else, tootles :)

The Plan....

We had a wonderful weekend with BRO and SIL.  We met them at the RE's office on Thursday afternoon and I can not express how wonderful he is.  He is so easy to talk to and he kept  asking if we had any more questions to make sure we understood his protocol.  He did a quick ultrasound to make sure my uterus didn't have any fibroids or cysts that could interfere with implantation.  Everything looked beautiful so he signed the form saying I have no contradictions to pregnancy and we were on our way.  Yeah!!

Then DH and I went to the social worker's office for our interview and we were there for over 2 hours and it didn't even feel like 30 minutes.  She is so easy to talk to and really quite knowledgeable about EA.  She has done it quite a few times and has had success with other couples.  She asked us every question you could fathom and it was so easy to talk to her, she is one of the sweetest people I have ever met.  She even made DH feel comfortable and he can be kind of shy sometimes.

So here is the protocol:

1.) Home Study completed
2.) Paperwork in the mail to Snowflake
3.) Officially on the waiting list as soon as next week (after all the paperwork is approved)
4.) Social worker thought they could be matched as soon as a month due to their openness
5.) Once they are matched, Snowflake will send "Freeze Report" to RE.
6.) If he approves the embryos we will schedule the FET after the embryos are at his office. This can take a  month or more depending on if the embryos require further testing of donor family or not, i.e. egg or sperm donor involvement.
7.) Then we will do a mock transfer (saline sono) to make sure my lining is beautiful.
8.) RE does not use any shots in his protocol.  He does a "natural" transfer.  They will transfer on the day of my cycle that the embryos are.  So if the embies are day 5 blasts that is the day of my cycle the transfer will occur on.  Then I will just have to be on vaginal progesterone suppositories.  I am so thankful I don't have to take shots.  I was willing to do it, but he said that they try to make this experience as painless as possible :)
9.) We wait for the beta test results.

RE said that they are having a 70% positive pregnancy results with their FET's due to the fact that he is very picky about the embryos that he accepts.  That makes me so very happy to know that this could work on the first try, I know that I have to be realistic about the fact that there still is a 30% chance it won't happen the first time.  But I like to be optimistic :)

We also decided to transfer 2 embies.  BRO was concerned about the toll it would take on my body to carry two babies if they both implant, but I was emphatic that I could do it so he conceded.  He is such a sweet brother to look out for his big sis :)  They said that they only will do one full pregnancy, whether there is one or two babies doesn't matter.  They feel their family would be complete after one pregnancy.  I told them I was willing to do two pregnancies, but BRO was sure that he would only do it once. I think SIL will work on him if their is only one baby the first time :)

So I guess we have a plan, but not a timeline.

We did decide to tell my mom and dad about this over the 4th of July weekend.  I really wanted to do it will BRO and SIL are here so they could help answer questions.  So they will come down that Saturday and stay until Monday and we will tell them at some point that weekend.  We are only telling them because we do not want everyone's opinion on the subject and if we tell everyone in our family we will get way to many judgements.  It is sad but true :(

I will update when they are matched!!

Butterflies

I have butterflies, I am so excited and nervous.....only 2 more days til I will be at the RE office to discuss FET protocol.  I have been looking forward to this day for over a month and it is finally here!  I know we still have a long way to go until the actual transfer.  SIL said it would be this fall, but I am such a planner that I just want a plan.  I want to know the exact protocol that this RE uses so I can be prepared for anything.  I know, I know, there is no way I can be prepared for everything that arises, but I like to think that I can :) 

I am also going to talk to bro and SIL about telling our parents about the embryo adoption.  Up to this point the 4 of us (me, DH, bro & SIL) are the only ones that know about it and it is getting harder and harder to keep from my parents.  I speak to my mom almost every day and it is so hard not to slip.  I had my IUD removed to prepare for this RE visit and I mentioned that I was visited by AF and she was confused because I don't have AF when I have my IUD.  I had to lie and tell her I had to have it removed because it was causing problems.   I HATE to lie!!  I also would like to tell them because my mom is a real prayer warrior.  She would be a great asset to have in this process! 

As soon as we get home next week I will update on what the RE said. 

Aunt Flow

Well, aunt flow arrived on Saturday morning.  It was the day of my daughter's last gymnastics meet so not the best timing, but it was going to have to happen eventually.  So I now can give the fertility doc my cycle day so they can schedule the saline sono.

I am getting excited about my appt at the end of this month.  It will be great to get specifics on their procedure.  I have read so many blogs about this process and I think I am pretty well prepared, but I am sure there are some things I don't know about yet and I am a planner so the unknown is hard for me. 

I am also very excited about seeing my bro and SSL.  I really enjoyed our stay with them in April and really love to get to the "big city" because they have the best restaurants.  We have reservations at the Melting Pot for the second night we are there.  Love me so fondue!!! 

Well maybe not...

Charlie (my SSL) called me last night and told me she spoke with her attorney regarding our insurance saying that surrogacy is "excluded" and he looked over our entire policy and he said that nowhere in it did it say anything of that nature.  He said that insurance companies always say no first.  So his advice was to wait until I am pregnant and then have my regular OB file the insurance as a normal pregnancy and if they deny it, he will then write a letter to them demanding that they show proof in our policy of the "exclusion" and if they can't they will be forced to pay their part (80%) 

I really hope that this will all blow over and bro and SSL will not be forced to pay for everything out of pocket.  We will see :)

The cost just went way up....

I went to see my regular OB today to have my IUD removed so I could get back on a normal cycle.  It went really well and he was really positive about me doing this for my bro and SSL.  He said that I would be at a higher risk for high BP and toxemia because this would be like a first pregnancy.  He said that when a woman gets pregnant the first time by her husband the fetus is partly foreign genetic material (because it is half her husband) and that is why some women's bodies respond with higher BP, etc.  Then with subsequent pregnancies (by the same father) you don't have as high of risk because your body is used to the "foreign" genetic material.  But since this baby with be an adopted embryo the risk is higher.  (It would be the same for a woman that had children with different fathers)  I hope that all made sense!?!?!   I told him I wasn't that worried because I never had one symptom like that when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter and my BP is usually low.

After I got home I received a call from the fertility clinic we are using and they had called my insurance to see if they would cover any of their services and she said they told her that my policy doesn't cover anything AND that it includes a "surrogacy exclusion" so that there will be no maternity benefits if the baby is adopted within 90 days of birth.  What!!!  I had not expected that...I looked through my entire policy packet and I did not find anything stating that and I was also surprised to find that my policy would cover maternity benefits for us (my husband & I) to use a surrogate for our children.  This entire process just got a lot more expensive for my bro & SSL.  I feel so bad that I can't fix this...  I looked at my insurance documents from when I had my last son and added up the full cost of the pregnancy and birth and it totalled more that $13,000. 

I called my SSL and she said that God would provide and that made me so happy to hear her faithfulness.  I struggle with faith in financial situations and it was a testament to know that she knows who is in control of this situation.  This baby is going to be so blessed to have such a wonderful christian mother!  AMEN

Doctor's Appointments

My brother called my on Friday and asked me to call the fertility clinic to schedule my first appointment and a saline sonogram for Friday May 26th. (the day we will be in town for the big home study interview) So I called and told them our situation and told them the social worker who had referred us. The receptionist was very nice, but she informed me that the only thing they could schedule was the initial consultation with the doc and I could not have the sono because it had to be on a certain day of my cycle and since I still haven't had my IUD removed we don't know my cycle days yet.  (I don't have a period on this particular IUD)

We will about 4 hours from the clinic we will be using for the transfer so I was very bummed.  I was hoping to get the home study interview done and this sono done on with this visit.  But it looks like I will be going back up on another day in June.  I went ahead and scheduled an appt with my regular OB to have my IUD removed so I could at least get back on a regular cycle so we could at least schedule it the day I was there. (Now I have to schedule my husband for a vasectomy, he is soo dreading excited about it.) 

I also received a phone call from the receptionist later this morning telling me that they would call to pre-certify my insurance for the consultation and that 99% of insurance policies have a surrogacy exclusion so all of the fees would be out of pocket.  I was devastated!  I had read my entire policy and there is nothing in is that says it excludes surrogacy.  I am hoping and praying that they are wrong, but I assume that they have dealt with this before and know more about it than I do.  I emailed my SSL and told her what I know so she is going to call her attorney (who has a copy of my policy) to see if what they said it right.  This option may have just gotten a lot more expensive :(

Here goes nothing!

My name is Julie and I am starting a new adventure.  I am going to be a surrogate for my brother and sis-in-law to their adopted embryos.  Sometimes I wonder how this all got started and my only explaination is GOD! 

I guess I should start from the beginning:

About 4 months ago I was reading my usual blogs and started looking at the lists of other blogs on the side of the screen and one of them said something about embryo adoption.  I was intrigued so I clicked it.  Little did I know what I was getting myself into.  I read about a family that had been struggling with infertility for many years and how they had been blessed with the gift of embryo adoption and now have a beautiful baby.  I immediatly thought, "this could be for BRO and SIL".  My brother and sister-in-law had been trying to conceive since they were married in 2001.  They had been through multiple fertility treatments including IUIs and clomid, but have never been blessed with a pregnancy.  They then tried the route of traditional domestic adoption.  They went through the same attorney and agency my cousin had used to adopt his son.  They were matched and were only a few months away from their baby girl's birth when the adoptive mother requested more money that they were not able to give because they had tapped out their entire savings.  Then my sister-in-law was forced to have a hysterectomy due to endometriosis.  My entire family was devastated by their struggles.  I have 3 beautiful children of my own and wanted them to know the joy of being a parent sooo much. 

So, after doing some googling and reading about embryo adoption I talked to my husband to see what he thought about me offering to be a surrogate.  He thought is would be okay.  I wanted to call them right away and propose this to them, but I was hesitant because I was unsure how to say it.  So I kind of put it on the back burner until I saw them again. 

Three months later my uncle passed away suddenly and my brother and sis-in-law came for the week of the funeral.  We were on our way to plan all of the funeral arrangements and it was just us three in the car and I asked them if they had ever heard of embryo adoption.  SIL said she had researched it and thought it was very expensive and they were not prusuing anything right now because they didn't have the funds. BRO had never even heard of it.  I told them I was willing to be their surrogate if they ever changed their minds.

Here is where God comes in.  The next day my grandmother learned that my uncle had left her a large amount of money.  That night she came to my brother and SSL and told them she wanted to give it to them so they could pursue another adoption!  Wow, God is so faithful.  That night SIL did a ton of research and found out I was right, that EA was econimical compared to other forms of adoption and learned that the home study they had from their previous failed adoption would just need to be updated. 

The next day after the funeral, they came to me and told me about the gift and asked if I was serious.  I said absolutely!!!  They are now in the process of updating their home study and it looks like it should be finished by the end of June.

I have done some major blog reading the last couple of months and feel like I am better prepared for what to expect and am ready to start this new journey.  I hope to continue to blog this journey, but am not ready to tell very many people in my "real life"  So if you know me in real life, please keep this to yourself and off facebook.